Updated March 16, 2011 |
Isn't it odd that...
...no one makes a really simple universal remote control for tech-challenged older people (like my lovely mother-in-law) that can control multiple components and turn all of them on & off at once with a single button?
...there's a term for people who don't believe in God ("atheist") but not for people who don't believe in other myth-based ideologies such as Astrology, UFO's, telekinesis, ESP, Tarot cards, etc? (I'm a "tarotheist") Isn't it also odd that someone would define themselves by something they don't believe in?
...Sound Exchange and the RIAA are hell-bent on destroying Internet Radio, a medium that's helping to keep the record business alive by turning people (like me) on to music that they go out and buy?
...there are "plug-ins" that do just about everything, except exactly what you need?
...killing humans is illegal in the United States and most religions consider it a sin, yet the death penalty is legal and accepted in most states?
...most employees who make nothing but mistakes usually get fired, yet so many large bank CEOs still have jobs!
...there's an "Interstate" highway in Hawaii?
...there's no "Grilled Macaroni" on the menu at the Macaroni Grill restaurants?
...at the Mix Magazine TEC Awards
there are no awards for mixers or techs?
(In fact, the last few years they seem to have no awards for humans at all!)
... you can receive a delivery from a courier called "Midnite Express" at three in the afternoon?
...your own farts don't smell nearly as bad as everyone else's?
...starting an interesting conversation causes the phone to ring?
Also, that the length of the phone call is usually directly proportional to the interest factor of the conversation that was interrupted?
...the door knob on hotel room doors are designed so the "Do Not Disturb" sign always falls off when you open the door?
...people in the U. S. always drive on the right side of the road (hopefully), but when walking on a crowded city sidewalk they'll walk head-on into each other?
...after you "put in your two cents", you only get "a penny for your thoughts"?
...you get
an IR remote control with the cheapest TV or CD player, but not with a $250,000
Sony PCM-3348HR digital multitrack recorder?
(Also, that $250,000 recorder is now essentially worthless?)
...pressing a solo button almost always seems to make the instrument you're soloing stop playing?
...studio gear will consistently malfunction until the maintenance engineer walks in?
...and a bit disconcerting that the President of the United States (yes, the man with his finger on The Button) can't seem to pronounce the words "nuclear" or "Saudi" properly? Oh, and that that same moron who claims to be making environmental policies can't pronounce the word "mercury"? Does anyone really believe he has a clue how dangerous it is to our environment?
...citizens of countries such as Canada, Mexico, Peru, Columbia, etc. are not considered "Americans" even though they live in North or South America? Why aren't people from the United States called "United Statesians"?
...at Staples, you can buy "legal pads", but nowhere can you find "illegal pads". I guess you have to steal them!
...the clothes on those marooned on Gilligan's Island are always spotless? Did they happen to end up on a deserted island with a Chinese laundry, or what?
...you often come across people with short tempers, but never people with long ones?
...sock sizes are different than shoe sizes?
... we still refer to the speed of sound (approx. 1116 ft./sec.) as the "sound barrier"?
... in spy movies, devices such as computers, hand print and retinal scanners, etc. always make those silly beeping noises? Have you ever heard a real computer do that? Pretty much everyone now knows what computers actually sound like. Wouldn't you think spies and evil villains would want their computers to be as quiet as possible? And why do time bombs always require a large LED display showing the remaining time before it's to go off? Exactly who were they expecting to be looking at that?
... the audio for movies (and most of the music channels) on airplanes is almost always in mono, even though the headphones are always stereo, not to mention it usually sounds like crap?
... in the U.S. there are strict health & safety laws governing the manufacture and sale of food, toys, drugs, appliances, motor vehicles—in fact, just about everything... except guns?
...there are laws that oblige us to wear seat belts in cars, while trains and buses (especially school buses) don't even have them?
... the government would make illegal a plant that exists in nature with absolutely no help from humans? (Although you won't find any around here, we're sure you know which one we're talking about.) I guess they don't really mean "In God We Trust".
...domestic dogs can usually understand quite a few human words (like "sit", "come", "fetch", "go for a walk" etc.) but we can't understand anything that they say? Are dogs actually smarter than humans?
...adults generally hate the thought of getting older, yet love to celebrate their birthdays?
...in the game of (American) "Football" the only foot that ever comes in contact with the ball is usually attached to an ex-soccer player?
...both Disneyland (California) and Disneyworld (Florida) are considered "The happiest place on Earth"? How can this be?
...we say "The alarm went off...", when we actually mean "The alarm went on..."?
...Americans can get a tax deduction for buying a Hummer, one of the most gas-guzzling non-comercial vehicles on the road?
...Maxim and People magazines actually exist, and many humans actually buy them?
...on TV show promos they say "and now an 'all new' episode of..." Do they ever broadcast a "partially new" episode of a show?
...people will scramble for a parking space as close as possible to the front door of the gym, so they can go in and spend fourty-five minutes on the treadmill?
...most recording studios are Macintosh equipped, but the record companies that need mixes FTP'd to them usually have only Windows computers and practally never have Macs? And how about this: the most popular mastering facility in Great Britain has a server with a 100 megabyte limit!!! What do they do, master from MP3's??
...SSL hasn't updated their automation software for their 1/2 million-dollar G-series console computer since 1995? Spend a grand on a Mac or PC and get a system software update two or three times a year, or more!
...eating asparagus makes your pee smell funny?